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You're here. You're reading this. You have delusions of racing. You imagine the fame... the fortune... the groupies. Someone probably suggested you might be squirrel material. Someone might have hinted you could have what it takes.... or that you're crazy enough to be interested. STOP for a moment and realize slap on your back might very well be used to smack you in the face... read on... SOF Rules - or - "PRE-ALIGNMENT OF EXPECTATIONS" 0)
SOF is a semi-professional racing organization. Professional
amatuers. No one will
be mistaking
us for NASCAR any time soon, or offering to affix their logo and
sponsoring our efforts, but nor are we new to the
neighborhood.
Generally speaking, we like our drivers to be competent, aware, and
have at
minimum High-Performance
Driving School experience or previous racing
experience under their belts. 1)
We like drivers to have their own racing gear, which must meet
current criteria for the racing event rules we participate in.
This includes suits, helmets, socks, underwear, shoes,
balaclava, HANS device, gloves, and earplugs/earphones.
2)
The first rule of thumb is to protect the car. Bring the car
back in one
piece. Nobody WON an endurance race in one corner...
but many
have LOST
IT in one corner. Be smart... bring the car home. 3)
Payments are due for your racing time before you step foot in the
car.
SOF is not a bank. We budget as close as we can to net "ZERO"
when everything is said and done. 4) SOF is not a democracy. What the Crew Chief says is the rule. What the Car Chief says is the rule. Your input is valued, but in the end the burden of final decision and responsibility rests squarely on the Chiefs. No amount of bitching or complaining will change this fact. 5) Outside the domain of the race track, Crew Chief and Car Chief... there are only FOUR core "Squirrles of Fury" team owners and decision makers. We have secret handshakes and passwords and everything. If you don't know if you're one of them... then you're not. Your entry fees don't buy you a vote on how our organization is run. 6)
You are NOT guaranteed time in the car, and there are no
refunds. (Wait... this is important... so you should read
that again). You are NOT guaranteed time in
the car, and there are no
refunds. Racing
is a risky business. It may very well be the first
squirrel
in the seat
balls up the car on the very first turn of the very first
lap. That's
life... and EVERYONE will be out their money. Keep in mind
that the $1000
you spent for the privilege of wheel-to-wheel seat time in a
race-prepared car
went into entrance/registration fees, tires, brakes, racing
fuel,
food, and
general transportation to the event LONG before anyone got strapped in.
No one... including SOF gets their money back. 7)
That being said.... SOF offers no form of personal security.
This means if
you're the
poor bastard that balls up the car on the very first turn on the very
first
lap, SOF will provide no forms of protection, and will willingly allow
the rest
of the team to beat the bloody piss out of you for as long as they have
the energy to clasp a blunt object. 8) IF you ball up the car? You're on the hook for another $1000. No amount of whining, complaining, crying, snivelling, grovelling, or "but it's not my fault" arguments will be listened to. If the car is balled up beyond the point where our crew can hammer it back into a recognizable form for additional racing use, it's coming out of your pocket.... we will, however, be kind enough to travel to the hospital after your racing accident to collect it... saving you the hassle. 9) Engines can (and will) blow up. Things break. That’s life. SOF has some of the best and brightest folks working on the cars, but sometimes bad stuff happens. (And no, you're not on the hook to pay for obvious mechanical failure... and no, you still don't get a refund). 10) It is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to be prepared for your seat time. No one is going to chase you down to find you or keep REMINDING you that your stint is next. A racing penalty or "black flag" event can occur anytime on the track, forcing the current driver to relinquish their seat and immediately rotate out. This means that for EVERY DRIVER in the car, the NEXT DRIVER IN LINE should be SUITED UP, IN THE PITS, and READY TO GO. If you make the financial decision to plunk down a hefty chunk of change to be a squirrel... and then decide to disappear and harass other pit crews on their mechanical ineptitude... we won't be spending a lot of energy trying to locate you. We will instead be focusing our energy on getting a DRIVER IN THE CAR and thus WINNING THE RACE. 11) "No one told me" is not an excuse. We have team driver's meetings before every race where we discuss driver order, driver concerns, or any other open item relevant to the race at hand. 12)
SOF provides food for the weekend for all drivers/crew on the
team. Food and snacks are generally available during ALL HOURS of racing. You
will find, however, that our food choices often opt for "easy" over
"custom-prepared". If you can't stand crock-pot spaghetti or breakfast bagels, or
you simply MUST have French Pierrer with organic mushrooms plucked by
Brazilian virgins... please plan
your own meals accordingly. 13)
SOF provides drinks for the weekend for all drivers/crew on the
team.
Typical beverages provided are energy drinks, water, and Gatorade. 14)
SOF normally doesn't provide hotel accommodations. To keep
the
fees as low as possible we tend to do things "on the
cheap". Usually an RV or a travel trailer shows up at the
race
event, and there is enough bed and floor space for people to "sleep
where
they fall." Bring a sleeping bag and pillow (and cot, if you've
got one), and you'll be generally able find a roof to sleep under.
If you insist on hotel room service (and
a
shower),
please plan accordingly. 15)
You are expected to take care of yourself. Please keep in
mind many of
these races are 24 hours in length. It is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to ensure
that you are RESTED, that you are FED, that you are HYDRATED and you
are READY
TO RACE when your position is up. Our Crew Chief makes the final call on
whether or
not you are "fit for duty". If you decide you want to hang
around all night to party with other pit crews and show up for your
stint
looking like ass and smelling like shame, SOF may very well pull your
spot to
protect the car and other driver investments. 16)
Do not underestimate the value in keeping hydrated. 17)
Check your ego at the door. This is HIGH-STRESS ADRENALINE
DRIVING. If you can't handle a driving
condition or
you feel unsafe SPEAK UP. Speak with other drivers about
strategies.
There is NO SHAME in learning, and NO SHORTAGE of people willing to
teach. Speak to the crew chief if you are uncomfortable about
the driving
conditions
(night-time, fog, etc). 18)
The crew that generously donates their time are here to assist with the
car and
the workload. They are not your personal servants.
They will not
press your clothes, and they will not "go and get you
something". Be kind to them. Thank them.
Let them have the last chip in that bag of Doritos you've
been hoarding. When the crew does their job RIGHT, you'll
never know they've done anything at all... which is why you should be
going out of your way to show your appreciation for their efforts. 19)
If you're still reading, then here is our most important rule to
absorb: SOF is here to have fun. No
matter
how hard you sharpen your pencil, there is ZERO financial
return in
making the investment to be a driver. THE ONLY
return is
the amount of fun you have. This means EVERYONE should be
doing their
best to ensure that EVERYONE ELSE is having fun as well. No
one likes a
D-bag bringing down the rest of the team... so don't be "that guy" when
it
comes to general attitude. |
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You can make out your checks to: "Squirrels of Fury" (Seriously, we're a legit amatuer sports club with a TaxID number and everything).
Mail them to: Jay Borden PO Box 3132 Moscow, ID 83843
Questions you can send to: jborden (at) datawedge (dot) com |
